Las Vegas, City of Lights

We had been told that the immigration officials at Los Angeles airport were the most obnoxious people on earth, so Peter was spoiling for a good fight. To our great surprise, we breezed through the immigration at LAX with no problem. They photographed us and took our fingerprints, but otherwise they were polite and courteous almost to the point of obsequiousness.

However, Peter’s disappointment was short-lived; we had reserved a sub-compact rental car from Avis, and they supplied us with a Ford Mustang instead. Yum yum. And we got a sat-nav called Jill-Jill. Unfortunately Jill-Jill only speaks American, and this is sometimes very confusing. We now understand why so many Americans are killed by friendly fire: they are almost incapable of expressing themselves unambiguously. But she got us out of LA with no problem.

This is the first time that either of us has been to the USA, and there are many customs which we find alien, such as overtaking on both sides. And then we have to be careful about vocabulary. They don’t understand “petrol”, it’s “gas”. Loos are restrooms. The bonnet is a hood. And they often ask us to repeat what we have just said, so that they can then say, “Gee, I just love your English accent” (to Peter’s delight). Somehow, nevertheless, we manage to communicate.

First stop was Barstow, a couple of hours’ drive from LA. A bit of a dump, slapped in the middle of the desert for no discernible reason. But a useful staging post on the road to Las Vegas. We had our first taste of American food in Barstow, and it was revolting. Tasteless, overcooked, greasy, and twice as much as we could eat.

But the room was comfortable, and we had time to sort ourselves out after three weeks in the South Pacific, and the long flight from Rarotonga. Breakfast the following morning was no better than dinner the previous evening, but we were treated to a good laugh when we found on our table a leaflet offering to sell us the shower-head from our bathroom, and indeed any other item from the bathroom that we might fancy. Unfortunately the lavatory wouldn’t fit in our suitcases, so we had to decline.

As soon as we crossed the state line into Nevada, casinos were everywhere. One of the first was called “Whiskey Pete’s”, which we felt was a good omen.

We were in Vegas for two nights. What can one say about Las Vegas? Las Vegas is just TOO OTT for words (pour les français ça veut dire over the top). Larger than life, naffer than naff, tackier than tacky, brasher than brash. Enjoy it for what it is without being judgmental. We stayed at the Imperial Palace. A bit seedy and past its sell-by date, but cheap and just about acceptable.

The focal point of all the hotels is the casino gaming floor, where row upon endless row of dead-eyed, chain-smoking, overweight, middle-aged robots mindlessly press the buttons on the slot-machines, oblivious to all around them. The air is filled with a cacophony of electronic jingles emitted by the machines. We sometimes felt that these places were just one step removed from a lunatic asylum. Do they really believe that they can win?

And not for nothing is Las Vegas known as Sin City. The pavements (sorry, sidewalks) are strewn with people handing out cards for prostitutes. There was even a lorry driving up and down the Strip, with a huge poster on both sides advertising “Girls direct to your door”.

The whole place grows rich by catering for the basest of human vices.

On the other hand, there are elements in the city that deserve to be admired. We never once felt threatened. The streets are clean. Flowers are everywhere. Everything is well organised. People in the street appear cheerful. The sun always shines. There are also flashes of elegance to be found in Vegas, such as the fountains at Bellagio, and some of the shows.

The Cirque du Soleil had different productions at six of the biggest venues. We spent the best part of the morning queueing to obtain discounted tickets for their production Kà at the MGM Grand. It was brilliant. Full of creativity, energy and humour. An incredible mixture of drama, music, dance, acrobatics, gymnastics and special effects. Quite mesmerising.

We escaped for half a day to visit the Hoover Dam. The Americans still consider this to be a great example of the American spirit. A triumph against all odds, a monument of determination, resulting in an impressive and imposing structure. And of course it was conceived in part as a project to employ thousands of men during the 1929 Depression. Most impressive. See the pics.

We enjoyed our stay in Las Vegas, but by the second day we had had enough, and were pleased to leave behind all the glitz, and head off into the desert. Back to nature for the next episode with visits planned to three National Parks. See you there.